Brazilian Women

Okay, before you start with the obvious “How does talking about women have anything at all to do with art or ideas”, let me state that the female form is absolutely a work of divine art and it definitely gives me ideas…

I didn’t want to follow up my initial pretentious post with something that suggests I’ll be moving on to more low-brow topics, but I did want to both introduce social subjects and get into the habit of blogging whatever is on my mind whenever it pops to the front of my brain and this is a good opportunity to kill two birds with one stone.

During the Soccer World Cup a while back (not the most recent one, but still, congratulations, Japan!), everyone became reacquainted with how hot Brazilians are thanks to that image of the female fan in a loose-fitting top, which achieved nigh-viral status immediately. However, not caring at all about soccer myself, I forgot about it rather quickly. Now, though, the famous women who have been catching my eye over the past two weeks keep turning out to hail from Brazil and it’s the kind of coincidence that can lead a love-addicted guy to make certain assumptions about an entire group of people.

Leaving aside the unreasonably cute girl I know who once claimed to be part Brazilian, it was Morena Baccarin who first caught my eye. Watching her as Inara Serra on reruns of Firefly, I developed an immediate crush that was no doubt exacerbated by the news that she will be attending Chicago Comic Con in August (I am purposely giving up a day at the beach with my friends just for the slim chance of meeting her in person). Her paralytic pulchritude (go ahead, look it up) absolutely hypnotized me into looking up more information about her and, though her Brazilian citizenship was overshadowed by the video of her miraculous scene in Death in Love, I did manage to keep that little tidbit on file as I continued to wish that Inara’s shuttle could come visit me.

I’m not sure whether my search for more lovely shots of the narcotic Ms. Baccarin (but, speaking of narcotic, I realize now that she’d make such a brilliant Susan Rodriguez in a new film adaptation of The Dresden Files) led me to the next one, but I more or less stumbled upon the Brazilian model and telenovela star Daniele Suzuki, who is such a breathtaking sight with her Brazilian-Japanese heritage that I found myself completely obsessed with her for a few days and discovered that my ordinarily airy sighs of longing could take on an oddly comical guttural tone. She wrestles, too. Some kind of magical Brazilian bellatrix body-paint wrestling that made my nervous system extremely happy to watch.

Then (mind you, this all happened in a length of time spanning a little over a week), I had the chance to re-watch The Incredible Hulk (the 2008 reboot film, not the 2003 version, which was actually not as bad as everyone says) and was fortunate enough to once again lay my eyes on the drool-inducing minor character “Martina” (who is, by the way, far too steamily hot to think that changing her clothes next to an open window is in any way a good idea). My interest once again piqued, I decided to look her up as well; considering that the first third of the movie is set in Brazil, it wasn’t a surprise that the actress was, herself, Brazilian, but I did manage to discover that she was a famous Brazilian model. Débora Nascimento randomly formed the last third of the Brazilian goddess trifecta that had drawn in the entirety of my mind like some hungry thing out of The Twilight Zone (she glistens in Hulk, by the way. I mean, honest-to-God glistens) and her pictures do not to her graceful beauty justice.

With these three pervading my every thought, I have come to the conclusion that I really want to meet more Brazilian girls ’cause they’re really pretty. I had considered attending the next Olympics, but I don’t quite feel like getting stabbed in a foreign country. Why, I wonder, have I not met any Brazilian-Americans if both countries are so large and so close to one another? Hopefully this will change. Maybe a geeky Brazilian woman will come out of nowhere and into my life. Ah, my goddess, venha acima e veja-me alguma hora. (Yes, I babelfished it. You can probably reverse-decipher the reference if you can’t guess it.) Until then, though, I’m going to have to practice a non-creepy way to be starstruck at Comic Con…

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